If I Could Turn Back Time
If you could return to the past to relive a part of your life, either to experience the wonderful bits again, or to do something over, which part of you life would you return to? Why?
I looked at today’s question with hope and excitement. Go back in time? Are you for real? Oh my goodness!!!! Where would I start? What is the one thing I could change that would make everything else fall into place?
Was it middle school where I played around in gym class and made fun of all the athletic people?
Maybe it was High school where I failed to embrace my love of history and sign up for the AP History class.
Could be college where I started off as a Theatre major, but wound up doing Early Childhood?
Perhaps it was two and half years ago when I had a nervous breakdown and walked out of my stable, nice paying, stress filled job before lunch one hot day.
The date I accepted, when I should have ran? The person I rejected instead of embraced? Where could I go and make everything….Better?
As I was sitting here making my big plans I started thinking of how different my life would be if I actually had the ability to turn back time and change the past. As promising as it sounds, would it actually impact me for the good?
If you have read any of my Blog writings you know I have frequent verbal conversations with God. This morning was not different. As I am dreaming of how great things could be if I had the ability to change some things in the past, I hear that subtle, yet loud voice…
“Are you sure you would want to do that?”
“Do you not remember what I have taught you?”
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” Is. 43:18-19
But so much has gone wrong! What if I could just change ONE thing?
“Remember, I don’t waste ANYTHING. There is meaning behind everything you have gone through. You are NOT defined by your past, you are PREPARED by it. Every hurt, failure, success, scare and victory has been to prepare you for now.”
The question doesn’t look so promising anymore. Yes, I have made ALOT of mistakes in my years on this earth. But each mess-up, mistake, regret, failure, embarrassments, were all part of a greater journey. A journey that has made me who I am TODAY. Without them, I wouldn’t be me.
So instead of being regretful and lungful for the past, I look at the scares it has left, and I am reminded that each one has made me stronger. While they may seem ugly to some, to be they are a beautiful reminder of a journey that has been rough at times, but full of lessons, and A LOT of grace.
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