The Beast

 

I am cursed. I have no idea what I did, but I am cursed.

Perhaps my curse is a result of something I did back in my childhood, or rebellious teenage years.

There was the time I tried to convince my sister she was adopted.

There was also the time I walked to the store when I was 16 to buy cigarettes for my friends brother.

Perhaps it was because when I was a senior in high school I laid of class one day and went to the Dairy Queen.

Or could it be because I t-peed my theatre director/bosses yard one Friday night when I was in my early 20’s

Regardless of the reason, I am cursed. Doomed. Ruined.

What is the cause of my grief you ask?

My curly hair.

It’s true. My hair has become a lowly burden I must bear.

For 39 glorious years I had perfectly straight hair. It was manageable, healthy, and adorable.

Then out of the blue…overnight…. totally from way out in left field…

It went curly. There is only a week difference between the picture above and the picture below. It literally curled OVERNIGHT.

At first I was thrilled with the possibility of having natural curly hair. It seemed so adventourous, and fun.

That thought lasted about 2 days. It did not take me long to realize, this was no fun adventure, but a curse!

Very quickly and dramatically I learned that you can’t blow dry curly hair…you have to have a diffuser. What the crap is that?

You can’t use regular shampoo on curly hair because it damages it and makes it frizzy.  Gone are the days of the $1 Dollar General Suave special. Now you have to spend $6.99 A PIECE for shampoo and conditioner that is sulfate free.

Brushing your hair? GONE. You are now lucky to run your fingers through your hair without getting it in a tangled mess, much less a brush.

I know what some of you are saying…just straighten it. I am just going to respond with this word….

HUMIDITY

I live in the South. Humidity is always here. No matter the temperature. It hangs around like a relative that came for a weekend visit, and ended up moving in with you.

I could spend the hour and half it takes to properly straighten my beastly locks, but 5 minutes outside, and we are back to Frizz City USA…Population me.

You may be wondering… why the crap is ANY of this relevant? Well friend, I write this for all curly haired women everywhere. For those of us who can tell by the weather forecast what kind of hair week we are going to have. For the one who wears her hair in a funky bun 95% of the year.  This is for you.

You are not alone. There are more of us. We feel your pain.

Stay strong.  And fight on.

 

 

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