To say I have been on a journey the past two and half years would be an understatement. A gross understatement. The Contrast in the person I was then and the gal I am now is well….
Like Night and Day.
Three years ago I was stuck. Like a house swallowed up by a sink hole, I was stuck in a pit of muck, fears, anxieties, and lots of self doubt. I was so far down in the pit, that my shouts for help were totally ignored.
Life was hard. TOO hard. Before I knew it I had walked out of my job, isolated myself from friends and family, and sunk deeper and deeper into my pit of grief, shame, and darkness.
In November of 2014 I remember very vividly sitting on my love seat in the dark.
I felt like a failure.
I cried out to God to just end it all.
“PLEASE let me just go. I am too tired to keep on just existing!”
Of course nothing happened, and I cried myself to sleep. The morning dawned bringing me a sense of peace and purpose.
I had two choices.
- I could give up and allow myself to play victim of my circumstances.
- I could wake up, pick myself up, dust myself off, use my mistakes as valuable life lessons and move on…fresh. New.
I chose option number 2. 🙂
My flaws and mistakes were still there. I still had much to deal with and overcome, but I no longer felt hopeless.
Fast forward two and half years and I am a MUCH happier person. Life is sweet.
I am broke, work for way less money in a very low stress job which I LOVE, and have set out to accomplish some life long dreams I had convinced myself I couldn’t.
No longer am I stuck in a pit. No longer am I defined by my failures.
Nope. I am different.
A huge contrast to the me I used to be.
Life is no longer something that is hard, but is now my greatest joy.