Decisions Decisions

HATE decisions.

When I am forced to make one, I struggle internally even long after the decision is made.

What is the RIGHT thing to do?
Should I have gone the other way?
What if I just made a mistake?

At some point in all our lives we are going to come to a Crossroads, a place where we are going to have to make a decision about the next path we take. For some, the choice is clear, for others, they may need a flashing NEON sign to tell them which way to go.

Second guessing every decision I make is a  huge burden sometimes. My track record for good choices is less then stellar. One too many decisions have been made out of desperation, frustration, and emotions. I am not going to lie…. I have even played rock, paper, scissors to make a few decisions.  Even choosing what to wear each morning is difficult for me.

I mean what if I wear the pink shirt when I clearly should have worn the blue one?

Pathetic.  I know.

Why is this so difficult? Why can’t I be a normal person?

Three years ago, I came to a major crossroad:

Leave the only career I had EVER known and face a life of  uncertainty,

or

Stay on the same path I knew was headed nowhere, but was comfortable.

For months I wrestled with which path I would chose.  I felt I was doomed either way.

“CAN SOMEONE JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO??????????”

Finally one night as I lay awake..pondering… worrying… stewing…  I had one of my famous conversations with God.

“Why won’t you just tell me what to do?”

“Because then you’ll never learn.”

“LEARN WHAT?????”

“How to TRUST”

“Trust? What?”

“Trust that even if you fail, I will make a way.”

“What if I make the wrong choice?”

“Then you learn from it, and move on. I will be right here with you”

I am a HUGE Peanuts fan. Sometimes Charlie Brown just speaks to me. I mean he’s awkward,  indecisive, and makes big mistakes. It also doesn’t hurt that he has a thing for redheads either.  🙂 One of my favorite quotes from the Cartoon is this:

Life is a journey friends. There are no answers. There are no flashing neon signs. We simply have to go out and discover them for ourselves.

Along the way, I am going to make mistakes. I am going to make the wrong decisions. I am going to fail. But sometimes, I am going to get it right.

For each and every wrong choice, I have learned a valuable lesson, I have discovered a little more about myself, and I have learned to TRUST, that failure and bad choices are not always detrimental.  Sometimes they are necessary for me to succeed.

Ultimately I left the security of my career of 15 years. It hasn’t always been easy, and the path has been super rocky at times, but I have learned more about myself in the past three years, then I would have if I had stayed.

Life is to be lived… not wasted on worry and regret.

 Now if you will excuse me, I need to decide what I am going to eat for lunch… I have a sandwich, but man some nachos would sure be good too…..

WHAT TO DO….WHAT TO DO??????????

Daily Prompt

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Decisions Decisions

  1. Pingback: NaPoWriMo – Day 26 – “Seafaring Scalliwags” by TooFullToWrite & HastyWords | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

  2. Pingback: NaPoWriMo – Day 26 – “Seafaring Scallywags” by TooFullToWrite & HastyWords | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

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