Do You Even Know Who I Am?

Each and every morning I wake up, I have choices to make.

What am I going wear?
What am I going to eat for breakfast?
Will I wear my hair up or down today?
Will I EVEN brush my hair today?

After all those decisions have been made then I decide what Mask to wear.

Whether you want to admit it or not, you do the same thing.

Am I happy go lucky today?
Am I serious today?
Am I bitter today?
Do I EVEN have a personality today?

From an early age we are taught to wear our masks out whenever we are out and about. We wear them almost like shields of armor, thinking they will protect us from whatever danger lies ahead.

Sometimes though, after time, it becomes exhausting and confusing. We have certain masks we wear to  certain places, and when we are with certain people. For example, I am not going to wear my business mask for a girls night out, and I certainly am not going to wear my life of the party mask to a business meeting.

Now we all have that one mask we wear constantly, the one that feels comfortable and that most people can identify with. For me that mask was humor.

For years, I hid behind my humorous mask. As long as I could make people laugh or be the chipper, friendly, joyous one, then I could forget what was going on behind the mask.

Sadness
Bitterness
Loneliness
Anger
Anxiety
Uncertainty

If people knew this was really going on…. what would they think? Would they like me as much if they knew that my life was crumbling and it wasn’t all laughs and giggles? Would they think less of me? Would they consider me a failure? Or even worse…. A fraud?

Keeping my mask on became exhausting… until…. finally… I cracked…the mask fell.

Oh how freeing that was! No longer was I confined to the pressures of trying to fit in, but for the first time I was….Me.

Everything life is NOT ok. Why do we expect each other to act as if it is? I wonder how much we could accomplish in this world if people removed the masks they wear, and start REALLY caring about each other for who we REALLY are?

God never intended for me to hide behind a mask. He created me to be the best me I can be. Some days I am going to be joyous and full of life, others I am going to struggle and find it hard to live, but I don’t have to hide…I have a God, and an army of family and friends who love me… for ME.  I only need to trust and rely on HIS strength.

“When my hear is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher then I” Psalms 61:2

I still struggle with my masks, and I suspect I always will, however, writing in Blog helps with that tremendously, and I hope that somewhere along the way, it helps someone else too.

Don’t be afraid to be real. Those who love and support you are still going to love and support you no matter how ugly you may seem. If they don’t… then they never truly did in the first place.  Be YOU…NOT a mask.

Daily Prompt

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8 thoughts on “Do You Even Know Who I Am?

  1. Pingback: NaPoWriMo – Day 27 – “Gifts Of Eternal Light” by David Ellis | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

  2. Seen the Jim Carrey movie “The Mask”? It’s a metaphor for what you spoke about in this entry. I’ve worn masks before in social situations (in school and everyday life) because I wanted to others to accept me, especially girls. I wanted them to like me for who I was. If you haven’t seen “The Mask,” watch it. I understand the character for I see myself in him.

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