Under The Big Top

“Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Step Right Up……Be prepared to see things you’ll wish you could un-see, and experience some death defying stunts!”

If there could be any announcement or advertisement for my life…. that would be it. From the moment I entered the earth 41 years ago till right now, my life has been a Circus.

Somehow I have become Ringleader in my own Three Ring Circus. I get myself in situations, and pickles each and every day. You can almost hear the roar of the crowd as they “OOOOO” and “AHHHHHHH” anxiously awaiting to see if I make it out of the ring alive.

In the far right ring, you have the always delightful and playful clown act. Without even trying I trip over my feet, squirt ink on my shirt, and wear outrageously bright and mismatched clothing. People laugh as I get myself stuck under my office desk on occasion (just don’t ask), or when I unknowingly wear two different color shoes, or when I have an encounter with the Dunkin Donuts employee that tries my patience.

The far left ring houses the Cage of Death… you know… that cage where like 5 motorbikes get in and ride around. Sometimes I STUPID stuff like that. My sense of adventure overpowers my common sense and before I know it…I’m riding my motorbike in a small cage with 4 other people. Ok… not really… that’s just an illustration. 🙂 There was the time I climbed up a mountain side in 4 inches of snow and ice… with no spikes on. Or the time I held the match to my ear to listen to the sound it made and almost set my head on fire.  Those were some good times.

Finally… we have the Center ring… the MAIN event…. This is where I do my most dangerous and tedious performance.  This is where I enter the ring with Lions and Tigers.. OH MY!!!!! 

I have to dodge people all day that want to eat me for their lunch… my boss, that crazy barista at Dunkin Donuts, and some whacked out co-workers. They come at me showing their gnarly teeth while doing their nasty growls, but somehow, I manage to charm them into doing exactly what I want them to do. There have been a few close calls, but I ALWAYS seem to come out alive, and manage to WOW the crowd in the process.

All three rings are usually in production each and every day. Some days one act gets more attention then the others, but we tend to put on our production 365 days out of the year.

So if you ever get bored, grab some popcorn and cotton candy, take your seat on the bleachers, and step right up to see the Greatest Show On Earth that is my life. I promise you won’t be disappointed.


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