Help Me Please!

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.

Why is it that whenever I am a guest in someone’s home disaster always shows up? I mean should it not be easier staying in someone’s comfortable home rather then a stuffy hotel room?

Oh, if that were only the case!

Each and every time I am a guest in someone’s home, the story is always the same…..

I wake up before anyone else.
I run out of toilet paper.
I have to go on a scavenger hunt for clean towels and wash cloths.
I set off alarms.
And I NEVER EVER know how to turn on the shower.

I love traveling, and if I can stay somewhere with friends or family for free…. AWESOME! But that awesomeness soon turns into panic and stress when you spend half your visit figuring out the ins and outs of your hosts home.

There is nothing more fearful and awkward then to be standing inside a shower, naked for 15 minutes trying to figure out how the shower turns on. You twist, pull, and yank the knob every which way till you are completely drenched in the sweat of your frustration.  Then you hear it….

***Knock knock****

“Are you ok in there?”

“Oh, I’m fine!”

“Are you sure? Seems like you are having some trouble.”

“Well…..I honestly can’t figure out how to turn on the shower.”

“Oh yeah….you need to pull the small handle while pushing the big handle in, while turning the knob counter clockwise all in 3 seconds. It’s really easy.”

“Ummm….got it. Thanks.”

By this time you are totally over the shower so you go to the sink and splash your self off with what little sanity and dignity you have left.

I recently visited a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. Being an early riser, I made sure with my friend that it was cool for me to make my coffee in their coffee maker when I woke up.

“No problem!” replied my friend.

I inquired if there were any special instructions I needed to follow.

“Nope….it is your standard coffee pot.”

The following morning I arose anxious to have my coffee fix.  It didn’t take me long to figure out the coffee pot was anything BUT standard. There were buttons and lights, and levers all over. In the span of 15 minutes I had succeeded in flooding the kitchen counter.  By the time my friend woke up I had gone through almost a whole container of coffee and about 6 filters… and still had NO coffee.

There are times I have been left on my own to search for toilet paper, tissues, paper towels, blankets, towels, and a mired of other items. I hate having to rummage through others personal stuff…. I always feel…..sneaky.

Most hosts tell you to make yourself at home….well first I need you to show me how your home works.

Please don’t make me yell at you while I am sitting on the toilet needing more toilet paper.

Please let me know where the extra towels, washcloths and toiletries are.

Please show me where the food is I can eat.

And for the love of all things HOLY……

PLEASE let me know how to work the shower and the coffee pot!


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8 thoughts on “Help Me Please!

  1. So true! I try to keep extra’s on hand (like toothbrushes) for the traveler, who in their haste forget. Because – in my own haste? Yeah, I have forgotten. Happy Tuesday Jess! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. awwwwww, you’d have no trouble with our shower. I can’t get the stupid thing to turn all the way off. lol…and I have a drip coffee maker. Yep, it is safe to come visit! Plus, I am so anal I label everything (it helps me remember where I put stuff) so if you look at a row of cabinets they are all labeled with what is hiding behind the doors. Unless Poor George has put stuff away in which case all bets are off.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hahahaha! I have been there, especially trying to figure out the shower. I usually provide towels to my guests ahead of time, and the bathroom usually has a supply of toilet tissue. That was funny, Jess. You can be guest in my home.

    Liked by 1 person

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  5. For some reason I missed the first blue line about wishing guests were at home when I read this post yesterday. That one is getting stored for future reference!

    Liked by 1 person

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