I am the Queen of Unfinished business. If you take a look in my guest room you will find half done knitting projects. Three scrapbooks I have attempted to put together, and an array of other “projects and hobbies” I told myself I would finish.
It’s not that I mean to bail…I just get tired, frustrated, bored, and well…..let’s face it…I’m lazy.
My mother has been trying to teach me to knit for 20 something years. It has been the source of some of our greatest fights and shouting matches. She would get me going on a couple of rows and then it happened…..the two year old fit and the same excuse…….
It is so much easier not to finish then to put forth the effort to carry on. Of course anyone that asks, I am quick to relay how I gave it my all, but it just didn’t work out.
“I don’t know what went wrong…. I did everything right. I worked REALLY hard at it too. My best just wasn’t good enough. I tried….. I really, REALLY did.”
But of course I didn’t really give it my all. If I had, I wouldn’t have quit. I never pushed myself, I didn’t give all I had…I gave what I was willing to give…. and that wasn’t much.
This year I vowed to do better. To finish things I started. Being a quitter was no longer fun or appealing and I wanted to make myself proud for once. Things have been going splendidly until recently.
Over the past few weeks, I have developed sharp pains in my left heel. At first it was just the morning after I hiked. Then it started to linger a little longer. Last month I twisted it funny coming down a hill, and since then I have had a constant throb that feels like heated needles being pushed into the bottom of my heel.
Finally, I broke down and made an appointment with a Podiatrist. I needed help.
Instantly, I started telling myself the dream was over. I had reached all but one of my goals for the year. I should be proud right? No one could berate me for not finishing. I have worked hard and proved that I can battle through.
But….did I really have to quit? If I did, others may be proud of me, but how would I feel about myself?
I was recently writing an appointment on my Mary Engelbreit Calendar, when I actually noticed this picture with a very famous quote that was assigned as the design for this month.
“When you think you have exhausted all possibilities-Remember this- You Haven’t.” Thomas Edison
Now I am not going to lie… my simple mind had to read that a couple dozen times for it to sink in. And when it did…… the light bulb went off inside of me.
I was ready to quit without giving it my all. Even though I have changed so much in the past 6 months some old habits never die. I hadn’t even gotten a diagnosis from my Dr. and I was already to throw in the towel.
Yesterday I had my appointment with my Podiatrist.
I didn’t actually get the news I wanted, but I also didn’t bad news either. My very caring and compassionate Dr. listened as I mercifully pleaded my case. Before he placed me on any kind of restriction he had to know what was at stake. I MUST finish what I started 6 months ago. Seriously, it is like I am leading the last lap of a marathon and I see the finish line straight ahead, but something has me by my shirt tail holding me back. I would stay off my foot for as long as he demanded if I could only finish.
Thank God for Doctors who understand dreams! While rest is recommended and the best option, it is not always the one that wins. He had no problem with me hiking a few miles here and there… I just had to promise to do what I was told to do and take all my medications and come to every follow-up appointment.
So this weekend, I will finish my goal list for the year.
I have two tasks left to tackle that I can do at one time and then I am finished with the list, but not with my goals. After the final check is made, there will be a whole new list made. There are tasks still to tackle and dreams yet to come true.
So this weekend, it WILL happen. I will finally prove to myself that I AM capable of following through with difficult tasks. I may think I have given it all I have, but there is still so much more for me to give.
Push through even if it sucks. Even if everyone else is telling you it’s ok if you quit and that it won’t matter.
It DOES matter. To YOU.
Make sure you exhaust EVERY possibility before you say…..I am done. You will be so proud you did.