Do you ever Label yourself?
I am such a screw up.
I am fat.
I am lazy.
I am ugly.
I am worthless.
The past few weeks, I have struggled with just this thing. While I have accomplished some amazingly wonderful feats, the past few weeks I have felt so unworthy, unloved, and unappreciated.
Sometimes I think I am never going to get my life together. I am just going to be a babbling, wandering fool for the rest of my days. Growing up, I thought I would have much of this figured out by the age of 42.
But I keep messing up. I keep failing.
I just feel forgotten sometimes.
Normally, I do not hike on Sundays. Being a good Christian girl, that is church day. However, I had a friend visiting from out of state this weekend, and she wanted to go on a hike. So yesterday, we went hiking.
As we began our journey I had a song stuck in my head that had been playing in my car on my way to the mountains.
If you can hold the stars in place
You can hold my heart the same
Whenever I fall away
Whenever I start to break
So here I am, lifting up my heart
If you can calm the raging sea
You can calm the storm in me
You’re never too far away
You never show up too late
So here I am, lifting up my heart
To the one who holds the stars
Stars by the group, Skillet, has quickly become one of my favorite songs. The song speaks of how we can sometimes get out of control and think our lives are falling apart. We may even throw labels on ourselves and think we are beyond any kind of love or help. But, God effortlessly created all we see. He literally holds the stars up in sky. If He worries so much about a star, how much more does He concern Himself with me?
As we were trekking up the mountain, I got to this part in the song…
The deepest depths, the darkest nights
Can’t separate, can’t keep me from your sight
I get so lost, forget my way
But still you love and you don’t forget my name
At that exact moment, I look up the hill and see a couple. The man looks at me and instantly said,
He knew my name.
This was also NO random man. He is a well known photographer in these parts, whom EVERYONE knows.
And he knew MY name.
The next 15 minutes speaking with Bob Carr and his delightful wife Pam, changed my whole thought process.
I often think I am a nobody. I am so worthless. If people knew the “real” me… The me who is a total screw up. The me who is always anxious around people. The me who feels like she can never catch a break. The me, who desperately wants a hug, but is too proud to ask. If they knew her, they wouldn’t like her.
But my encounter with Bob yesterday reminded me that I am NOT forgotten. I am loved by the one who holds the Stars.
Not only does He know my name, He doesn’t see ANY of the labels I give myself. He doesn’t see the Jessica that is a chubby, lazy, worthless, screw-up. He sees the daughter He created and cares for. He sees a heart that longs for something, and wants desperately for that something to be Him.
When I feel like I am a nobody, He calls to me. He knows my name and He calls out to ME.
Labels are pointless. They have no meaning.
Whether you believe it or not dear reader, you were created by a loving God. A God who knows each and everyone of the hairs on your head. He doesn’t look at you as worthless. As a nobody.
You are His creation. You are adored. If He can hold each and everyone of the stars up in the sky in place, don’t you know how much more energy He puts into holding you?
Never forget….He knows your name.
“He counts the stars and He calls them ALL by name.” ∼ Psalm 147:4