My Body Got Me Here

“What the heck are you doing out here?”  This was a conversation with myself a few weeks ago as I was attempting to haul myself up a rather steep and rocky mountainside.  Just a few miles ago, I was having a whole different conversation with myself as I was blazing my way through the rocks and mud on a much easier stretch, where I was telling myself just how amazing I was for getting up at the butt crack of dawn to come out and hike 10 hard, and challenging miles in an area I knew ZERO about.   But now, the trail was showing it’s true colors, and so was I.

I’m Okay

“What if it ain’t okay?  How are you going to handle it?”

I sat in the crowded movie theater yesterday and listened as my favorite movie character of ALL time, Rocky Balboa, said those words to his godson, and boxing protege, Adonis Creed.  Adonis, who had just become a new father, was having to face the reality that his newborn daughter may be deaf.

My whole life I have been a Rocky fan.  Perhaps it is the rise of the underdog.  Maybe its the thrill of the fight that ensues.  But whatever the reason, in each and every movie, there always comes a lesson that leaves me thinking and feeling inspired.

Changing My Story

Stepping out of the vehicle and feeling the bone chilling wind rip through my body, I began to question if this really was a good idea.  It had been weeks, since my last real hike, and I was already nervous about getting back out there, and using the weather as an excuse to delay getting started, seemed like a really good choice at the moment.

But there I was.  Strapping on my pack and standing in front of the sign to one of the world’s most famous footpaths….The Appalachian Trail.

The Long Road Back

You know that feeling when you’ve been away for several days, even weeks, and you are finally home and all your crap is put away, and you finally sit down on your couch and you just breathe?

That is how I feel sitting here in front of my computer right now at this moment.

It has been weeks, months really, since I last sat down and just wrote anything without thinking.  Life has become so bogged down and complicated that it was just easier for me to let the feelings inside of me sit and stew than it was for me to pour out the words that were inside of me dying to come out. And honestly, if it wasn’t for writing this piece for this article, it may have not happened for a long time to come. 

No Need To Sparkle

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Those words written by Eleanor Roosevelt have lived written on a chalk board in my house for a number of years.  I read them every day as I walk about from room to room. I have even written about them before, but over the past few months I have fully come to understand their meaning.

What If

Like most people, I started 2017 off with lots of plans, goals, and hopes.  January started strong, but quickly fizzled out.  Before I knew it my world went into a violent tail spin and here, almost one year later, I am still not recovered.

Something of the Marvelous

“You will grow from this.”

I absolutly hate that sentence.  It has been said to me so much through my life, that I can almost tell you when it is getting ready to be said to me in conversation.

Why should I have to grow?  Why can’t life just go as I want it to go, and follow my schedule?  Is that really too much to ask?  Seriously, it seems that once I finally adjust to something, it changes, leaving me frustrated, confused, and flopping around like a fish out of water. 

She Lived

“What do you want your tombstone to read?”

This was a question asked on a survey I was taking for a friends graduate class assignment earlier this week.  At first I scoffed at the question and passed it up to answer the other nine below it, but as I came back to it, I started to really ponder on it.

What do I want my tombstone to say when I am gone from this earth.  When friends, family, and strangers celebrate my life after it is over,  what do I want them to remember about me?

A Chaotic Masterpiece

Can I be real?  I mean really REALLY real. I’m talking about the you may find out way more about me then you truly want to know kind of real.

Today I woke up and I did something millions of us do each and every morning,  I jumped on Facebook to see what was going on in the world.

Come on, you know you do it to.  Gone are the days of CNN, Headline News, Fox, or MSNBC.  Now if I want to know what is truly going on in my town or beyond, I simply log on to social media.  Where else am I going to know what you ate for dinner last evening, how many miles you ran, or the latest model car your husband bought you?  Where else can I hear how incredibly disastrous our President is, what professional athlete or celebrity is currently offended, or how whatever product you are selling is going to change my life?

Don’t Stop

 

 

Broken.  Bitter. Exhausted.

That is who I was a year and a half ago when I began what would become the wildest and most amazing journey I have ever embarked on.

Life just stunk, and I needed a change.